How to explore your identity without leaving the house

The Autobiographical Sketch

I’m in the middle of writing a post… several posts actually (😅)… but the one I am most excited about finishing will be greatly influenced by adding this resource/tool into my repertoire (you know how I love a hyperlink to another post (literally everything I say is one long run-on tangential sentence if we’re being honest)).

So… you want to get to know yourself better? You want to engage with these ideas of identity in new and explorative ways. You know what I’m always going to suggest? Write about it (or leave yourself an audio note or visual journaling or whatever works for you but PROCESS your internal thoughts about your identity, externally)! And for that, I want to introduce you to the most incredible tool I was offered in graduate school during the diversity class that I always say changed my life (I don’t know if I’ve given that story here but alas… it will come).

The Autobiographical Sketch is series of questions (that I’ve slightly updated a bit and broken into parts so that you don’t need to feel like it all has to be done at once) that help you explore your past, present, and future with an aspect or a grouping of aspects of your identity. When we talk about identity, and where I would typically suggest you kick off here, we are typically talking about some of the more socially resonant aspects including (but not limited to): race, ethnicity/nationality, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, education, religion, age, physical ability, neuro-capability, and body size/type. These are things that fundamentally shape the way we show up in the world and become the focal point for our rights as people. That in mind, you’re still so much more than your socio-political presentation.

I have a dog (my fiance and I have a dog and to be honest, Kona was hers long before I came into the picture but that’s still my baby); my life is shaped around my ability to care for that dog. I need to be able to feed and walk her everyday or ensure that she is receiving care if I cannot. That changes the way I interact with the world and thus being a dog owner is a very important part of my identity. Is it necessarily where I think I would want to kick off using an autobiographical sketch on? Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.

That said, if you want to learn more about yourself — journal your way through the autobiographical sketch and whatever identities peak your interest to explore more. For example, I might talk about my Blackness, or my being a man, and/or I can also take the space to talk about the intersections of those things; being a Black man; being a Black Queer man; being a Black Queer second-generation Ugandan-American Man even. And the list goes on. But I suggest you start small. Just one, MAYBE two identities. Then you can engage with the intersectional richness. Take a look at who you are, what you believe about yourself, and what you want from the expression of yourself and your identities. And if you don’t have an answer to a question — skip it or write about not having an answer. Even no relationship to an aspect of identity is still a relationship!

---

OK, enough talk! Here’s the prompts to start this exploration process:

The Autobiographical Sketch

PART 1:

• I (currently) identify as ___________

• I first realized I was ___________ at this point in my life and this is how I realized it:

• What role did my family upbringing play in me identifying this way?

• What message did I get from my family about my identity? What message did I get about identities other than my own?

• What message did I get from my friends about my identity? What message did I get about identities other than my own?

• Have I always identified this way? If no, when did it change?

PART 2:

• How did my identity(/ies) develop through the course of my education? What kind of messaging did I get from my institutions of learning about my identities and those other than mine?

  • Elementary School –

  • Middle school –

  • High School –

  • Trade School --

  • College –

  • Post Grad –

• How has society influenced me with respect to my understanding of my identities and those other than my own?

• What was it like to be raised in ___________(country, state, town, etc). as a person who is ___________?

• Who has significantly influenced (role models, mentors, etc…) my relationship to this identity?

PART 3:

• Do I feel like I am an accepted member of my reference group?

• Are there things I have not come to terms with regarding my membership in this identity group?

• If I have never considered this/these aspect(s) of my multiculturalism, what does this mean?

• What are my biases and prejudices about other members of my identity group(ing)?

• What are my biases and prejudices about those with identities other than mine? And from which of my social experiences did they form?

• How do all of these beliefs and experiences impact how I show up in the world?

• How would I like to show up in the world as a person with this identity?

Enjoy your journey of self-discovery, family!