Relationships are relationships are relationships (and I'll say it again)

The 9 Dimensions of Wellness Pt. 3 #mentalhealthmondays

The 9 Dimensions of Wellness Pt. 1

The 9 Dimensions of Wellness Pt. 2

Relational Wellness

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Relationships are relationships are relationships. We are relational beings. Most of everything we are only exists in relation to one another. When we’re checking in on how we’re relating we’re encompassing soooo much we have be comprehensive. It’s so important. We’re talking committed partnerships, family dynamics, sexual intimate connections (with whatever nebulous terminology suits you there (be that your partner or your hoes (this a pro-hoe household!))), platonic friendships, and professional relationships. I work with a lot of clients who are trying to subvert traditional beliefs around relationships and love. So with them especially I like to ensure they ask these questions about what certain relationships mean to them. What signifies connection for them? How do these various parties reflect that significance? What is the quality of their connections and how does the quality determine the language they use to define them? How do they qualify acquaintances in the relational lives? And here are even more questions to consider:

Committed Partnership(s) - Are you monogamous, non-monogamous, or polyamorous in some regard? What do you consider a committed partnership? What have your committed partnerships looked like in the past? Are you fulfilled in your partnership(s) currently? What is next for you and your partner(s)? Are there conversations you need to have with your partner(s) that you haven’t? Do your committed partnerships feel like a safe space for your feelings? Do you feel seen by your partner(s)?

Family Relationships - What does family mean to you? What kind of relationship do you have with your family? Has it always felt this way? Are there boundaries that you have to uphold with your family that are difficult to maintain? Do you feel you can show up authentically with your family? If you can’t, is that okay with you?

Sexually Intimate Relationships - With whom do you share sexually intimate relationships? What weight do these relationships have? Are you satisfied with your sexual relationships? What experiences of sexual intimacy have been the least satisfying and why? What experiences of sexual intimacy have been the most satisfying and why? 

Platonic Relationships - Do you have many close platonic relationships? Do you have many platonic acquaintances? How much space do you give to each in your life? Has it always been this way? What is required of a platonic relationship for it to become deeply connected and vulnerable?

Professional Relationships - Do you have coworkers with whom you feel comfortable and safe? Do you have mentors who can offer you advice in times of need? Do you have leaders who are open to feedback and give constructive feedback?

Relational Wellness reflection tends to be very taxing on the mind, body, and spirit because of the multitudinous nature of it all. Consider also in what ways your relationships contribute to that drain or can be used to counter it. Is there space, during or after this reflection, for gratitude or for some forthright diplomatic vulnerable honesty. This is a space where action may be called out of you I would encourage you to listen to it.

Next up (a natural progression): Sexual Wellness